I just lost $1,000. Yes, that's how much money I've lost from one, count them one recurring automatic payment that I've been living with for three years. And I'm sick to my stomach, because I don't want to count up all the recurring automatic payments I've had over the past three years. Money, I just threw away because I didn't use the services I was paying for. One thousand dollars -- one, zero, zero, zero, period zero, zero dollars.

The funny thing was, it didn't look like one thousand dollars on my statement. On my bank statement it was a simple charge of $25.95 each month. A simple, innocent, harmless charge that just slipped in each month. Nothing threatening, nothing major -- right?

Then I did the math. If I had put that $25.95 in an interest bearing account that gave me 4% over the last three years . . . I would have had $1020.00.

If I had put that $25.95 in a mutual fund (the same mutual fund I use for my retirement account) I would have had $1160.00.

If I would have put that $25.95 against my credit card debt, it would have been $900 less in debt!

Instead, I just gave it away. No, giving away money has to do with consciously handing over cash, actually knowing that you are giving money away - without it ever coming back.

I didn't do that, I just let my money slip away. How much more money have I let slip away? I'm afraid to add it up. I might hurt myself if I realize that I've lost $2,000, $5,000, $10,000 dollars in 3 years. So instead, I'm going to forgive myself for my stupidity and cancel all those need-less un-used services.

I promised myself -- mainly to avoid suicidal tendencies -- that I will only add up the automatic payments I cancel, and then automatically have that amount sent to my mutual fund . . . hey, recurring automatic payments in reverse.

Maybe in three years I can post on a blog somewhere that this time, without conscious thought, I gained money.